BE FRIENDLY, BUT NOT A FRIEND !

BE FRIENDLY, BUT NOT A FRIEND !

LET THE LINES NOT BLUR !

A provocative thought !

Very often, out of misplaced love, or to mollycoddle, or to follow the herd, or to be seen as ‘modern’, we parents convert or pretend to be friends of our children. A grave mistake I think!

In our relationship with the children, we are meant to be what we really are and not don the hat of what we are not. Else we are likely to lose the benign but essential authority, the initiative and even the dignity. If we become so-called friends, children may become impolite, insubordinate and insolent. And we lose the respect followed by self-respect. This happens because we are not those friends of our children to whom they present their very best, but the ones who are and can be easily taken for granted. Perils of parenthood indeed!

I am not suggesting that we should wield the stick and not be loving towards children. But that love does not permit limitless license. We ought to say it loud and clear when enough is enough. If we install the children on our head, they are likely to pee on it. And the offensive touch, feel and odour of the excreta flowing down our face, even that of our own children, is difficult to endure : )

The history based on the amalgam of genetic and cultural progression of millions of years of human evolution has firmly established this hierarchy. If it is broken, there is chaos. When the lines blur, it’s  confusion.

So, let’s not pretend. Let’s not cheat ourselves by acting otherwise. Let’s not be the ostrich with nose n eyes in the sand.

Let the sacrosanct be sacrosanct!

With our children let’s be friendly…very friendly, but not friends!

Where we are and where do we go depends a lot on where we come from!

Where we are and where we go depends a lot on where we come from!

Where we were situated at birth, decides to a large extent and with some exceptions, what we are today and where we are situated now. Not to belittle one’s own achievements, the exceptions merely prove the rule.

Those of us born with a silver spoon in mouth, have the shining polish on nails, boots n manners; go to that international school and the ivy league college; get into a great job or inherit the ancestral business. And life is a serial party, a picnic under the hanging garden.

Someone born in a poor family spends entire life trying to fend for self and the family. Children, if at all lucky to be in a government school, are forced out of it sooner or later as more working hands are needed for survival. Even if there is an earning eked out of drudgery, it is so meagre that all of it is spent on few morsels and medicines. The threshold, the inflection- point to break out of the vicious circle of abject poverty and misery is rarely crossed.

Just as wealth begets wealth, poverty begets poverty. Just as birth in favourable circumstances gives a kick start to life, birth in poverty tends to keep one in perpetual penury for generations.

And we have no role to play in where we are situated at birth. It’s accidental whether we are born in a CSS, a R K Marble or an Ambani household, or in the family of a beggar, a bootlegger or a grave-digger.

The arrogance then, which comes from one’s status or station or so-called success or sense of self-importance, is laughable.

In a lighter vein:

Commented someone with pompous humility “whatever I am today, I owe it to the family”.

My remark: “why blame the family?”  : )

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Last night I dreamed of him again !

Last night i dreamed of him again…one of my most favourite persons…….a professor…with whom i have developed a special rapport over the years, a heart felt something difficult to put in words. He was as handsome in the dream as he is in real life. I met him last when i went to invite him for a function. As always he was with his spastic son whom i had often met as a child. After embracing me and giving me tea, he gave me a packet saying this was the money i had arranged to buy a wheelchair for his son decades ago. I choked and understood under what compulsions he must have accepted the money at great cost to his uprightness, righteousness, dignity…but his love for son had prevailed. We argued, we fought…he to return the money….i to make him keep it. I won, but i did not feel triumphant.

There are men  and there are men….He stands tall- heads and shoulders above most others…humane in his humanity, dignified in his simplicity, graceful in his sensitivity. He warms the cockles of my heart and brings tears to my eyes each time i meet him in person or in dreams.

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OF CONSTRUCTION, DECONSTRUCTION AND DESTRUCTION !

Using a metaphor, I call her Life. 

Life which is full of cunning, deceit and treachery !

Life taught me there are elements of Construction & Deconstruction in poetry, as in life.

But she Constructed to Destruct.

An uniquely sordid and sinister drama unfolds when she constructs and destructs her own love poetry while devouring John Donne and Neruda….where she designs, directs and becomes the protagonist…..to construct a new poetry, by destroying the old.  

It is her Masterstroke, but the game is not over, not yet !

Now let me take you on this journey of Construction and Destruction to arrive at the truth that the REAL was SURREAL at best and FAKE at its worst !

To take you on this journey which begins with Seduction and culminates into Ruination, I have put together some of my writings and a few quotes :

 

CONSTRUCTION

 Seduction By Life !

O Life how you seduce me…

I lust for you or you lust for me ?

O voluptuous, sensuous life,

You suck me in your beautiful body, you devour me in your exuberant soul !

Your sights n smells, sounds n scents so exciting….

Your contours n curves, crannies n crevices so enticing…..

You engulf me like flames of forest fire !

You embrace me n kiss me with primal passion…

You dance in me and i dance inside you … with joy unbound n exhilaration….

A particle in whirlwind gyrating with gay abandon…..

O Life You inflame decadent desire !

O Life you tempt with hedonistic pleasure !

I swim in your waters, I dive in the depths of your valleys…

 I climb your hills, I fathom your forests of lilys…

Life… you enthrall, you invigorate !

Life…you invite, you intoxicate !

Life….you energize, you stimulate !

You attract, you addict, you attack, you arrest !

You call, You seek, you beckon, you challenge !

O alluring fascinating Life, You charm me out of my wits,

I am eternally thirsty to drink the love-poison from your lips !

O Life you lure, you hunt, you thrill…. n you kill….

And like a woman wily n wanton, you spoil !

Life dear, You enter my soul n my soul enters you to meet, merge n mate,

And how I cherish n our tempestuous relationship I celebrate !

Oh Life how you seduce me,

I lust for you and you lust for me…!

 

 DESTRUCTION

 Excerpts from my Blog: “Absurdity of Love n Existence…in the context of Lover’s treachery”

Deeply influenced by Camus and the absurdity of love and existence,…..I write about the life of this lover…life which is not a theatre of the absurd, …but a life of absurdity…a living, palpitating absurdity.

….I never perceived the full meaning of lifelong struggle to get back lost love, as I was not a party to it, as I had not lost you then, nor ever dreamt of losing you ever. I am hit by its full import now as you have gone away and abandoned me for another, as I suffer and pine for you. To have you back in my life is my futile struggle reflected in my silent quest, in my hopeless hope, and the anguished cry which escapes from my soul, reaches your heart but touches you not.

….. So is the absurdity I face in my life now…I know you will never come back, but I keep asking, shamelessly, unmindful of the humiliating rejections….I settle for the life of subjugation, to the misery of circumstances… with an attitude of acceptance.

…. though I am fully conscious of my fate and futility,  I cannot escape the struggle…for i can endure it. By embracing the hopelessness, I am aware of the limitations of life…therefore, I discerningly revolt against my fate….this futility…by continuing to toil and try. And I rebel with inner strength and moral courage.

But I am yet to reach a stage where I am free from my anxieties about you, about return of love from you…for I keep hoping…Though I choose a life that is without appeal and hope, my heart still keeps appealing…and hoping…and I keep asking for your love. Though I am indifferent to the future, i cherish my present struggle for your love to the fullest, even if you…the object of my desire…find it deplorable and despicable.

You will be convinced of my arguments, my sincerity, my thoughts n feelings, and the seriousness of my efforts to regain my love only by my death, therefore I die thousand deaths daily.

I am continuing in my misery with a profound understanding of it…I wonder whether I am beginning to savour it. I believe seeking you, your love… is more momentous than suicide…..which serves no purpose. My situation is hopeless and gloomy….and the hopelessness and the gloom are eternal, but I am thoughtlessly immersed in my pursuit and I think neither of hope nor of hopelessness. I am fully aware of the absurdity.

“Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that’s what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity..” (Camus)

And I am lucid enough to understand the futility.

And I stand triumphant in my tragedy !

And I love you !

 

Of Broken Sandal and Heart

Oh…such was the intensity when we first met,

her sandals broke…

I put the broken sandals on her feet,

and we carried on, she limping along !

Was it harbinger of the day she repaid

by placing my heart on my hands after breaking it ?

 

Body and Mind

She said I made her a woman

And she took away my manhood !

She said she came to me for my  mind

But she left me for some  “body” !

Her metamorphosis was oh so swift so urgent

She lost no time and developed wings to desert me !

My deepening lines now did not impress her, my wit n repartee now of no report,

Empty and redundant now I was, for she had found someone abundant !

 

The Difference

What could have been between us, was never to be….

You swore by love and I lay all my trust in trust,

 I did not prove you wrong…

But you did by breaking my trust !

 

The Lesson

“When you finally trust someone,

without any doubt you finally get one of the two results,

 A person for Life, Or

A LESSON FOR LIFE”

 

Lafjon ki Dhokebaazi

I did not ask, and you did not tell,

when I did ask, you weaved “lafjon ki dhokebazi”.

 

Lie n Truth

You can’t lie to your soul,

for your soul knows your truth, your deception !

 

Perceptions

There are things known and things unknown,

There are words said and words unsaid…

And in between are the doors of perception !

 

Road to Enlightenment

Deception…Perception…
Confirmation…Liberation…
Enlightenment !

 

Naturally So

She couldn’t help Deceiving….. again n again,

It is Her nature !

I couldn’t help Trusting….. time n again,

It’s Mine !

 

Of Fake Love

Shout from the roof-tops,

0r wear it as a badge….

What is Love….but fake,

If it’s the Trust you break !

 

Fareb

Meri kitab ke har ek panne, har ek lafj pe sirf usika jikr hai,

jao ek baar uski ankhon me jhaank aao…..

dikhayi degi meri mohabbat,

aur uska fareb !

 Every page, every word of my book is full of her,

Go, look into her eyes once….

You will see my love,

And her treachery !

 

Real ? Surreal ? Fake ?

Yes her love was exquisite n  beautiful….

But like a plastic flower,

She was neither Real nor Surreal….

But a FAKE !

 

Careful Destruction

She took great care in destroying me,

After all she “loved” me so !

 

Right & Wrong

I believed we were beyond right or wrong,

But she wronged me saying it was right !

 

The Truth

The Unfaithful is faithfully so,

The Shameless is shamelessly so….

The twain meet in the Treacherous !

 

Parijat, Tea, Notebook and Bridges

Many a mornings i plucked fragile n fragrant PARIJAT for her with great care,

One morning she trampled upon them with scorn n glee…

the fragments n fading fragrance remain in my painful memory !

Many a afternoons i brewed TEA for her with great care n served delicately in China,

One afternoon she put poison of her deceit in my cup….

This poison circulates forever in my veins !

Many a days we wrote n read the NOTEBOOK of love together,

One day she tore it up and threw the torn pages away….

The words mock me mournfully !

Over the years we built the BRIDGES and crossed them hand-in-hand time n again,

She burnt the Bridges n threw the ashes to the winds…..

I ran after it and collected a handful, crestfallen n ashen-faced !

Now i love Parijat, Tea, Notebook and Bridges more….

Coz they remind me of her treachery !

 

Stranger in the Mirror

I stood before the mirror

And saw a stranger,

I asked: who are you ?

Stranger replied: I was !

 

Life Wish

I wish I met some people a little earlier,

some a little later,

and You never at all !

 

Paths

Our paths may cross again at times….

though I wish not !

If they do, I will step aside and make way for you…..

to pass unnoticed !

Now that Destruction is complete, my existential crisis is over. Am neither leading the Camus’s tragic life of exercise in futility nor contemplating metamorphosis into an insect as depicted by Kafka.

“If life can remove people you never dreamed of losing,

 it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having” !

And as Oscar Wilde said :

 “The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly deceived”.

Parijat

 

Life by Death ! Live by Death ! And Death by Chocolate !

Hi, my following piece on life and death is not intended to make you feel pessimistic or doomed, but to put the greatest fear of our lives, i.e., death, into perspective and leverage it to live by our values…..by what really matters.

When any near and dear one dies, we become philosophical and our values transcend to exceedingly good, and the importance of love, empathy, selflessness and so on suddenly dawns upon us. In those deathly moments we ask ourselves: does it really matter- this pettiness, this selfishness, this anger, hatred, ego, this one-upmanship, this attention grabbing and status seeking ? In the face of death, we realize the futility of it all, and the ultimate truth hits us hard:  I may not exist next moment and nothing will matter once I am dead, not to the “dead me” at least !

But these transformational thoughts are temporarily caused by death of some one close and evaporate soon. Therefore, does it make sense to make the temporary permanent ? Is it wise to think of death consciously and continuously, so that we remain transformed, so that we are naturally good…not artificially or by design, so that our values are not blurred in the hurly burly of life and we can be in command of our priorities? Remaining forever conscious of death may not be such a bad idea after all….. not in a forlorn, despondent, or pathetic manner, but in a life-defining, positive and reinforcing way.

In those few moments when we are aware of death, we let go of the superficial, the shallow and the sinister. This awareness then allows us to embrace the good, the beautiful and the worthy. Therefore, it logically follows that keeping knowledge of death as our constant companion, even if in the subconscious, simplifies and untangles everything…..from owning responsibility for “what a mess my life is” to ridiculing and rebuking myself for my sense of selfish entitlements, from accepting failures and rejections to allowing myself to be at peace with myself and others…warts n what not!

Change is the only constant and death is the only certainty. Our birth too was not a certainty…it could have been or would not have been…depending on so many factors. But once we are born,  death is a certainty….the only absolute absolute in life…and it comes at a time and place of its own choosing.

We can appreciate life more, live life more by being aware and accepting of death. Once we come to terms with our death (which is inevitable), we can let go of our fears as well as false values, dogmas, anxieties, and stupid sense of self-importance. It lifts us up from being mean, narrow and petty. That’s life in its true sense and in its magnificent glory. Death takes our lives away, but its knowledge makes our lives worthy by making inhuman humans humane !

So, shall we be in cahoots with death always while being alive ?

Yes ! if all that’s written above is true, then it is also true that:

Meaning of death gives meaning to life !

Death therefore define us, our values !

Death become us, for in death alone we live honestly and honourably and we do not become living dead !

Let’s not be in denial of death then, let us not lose sight of our destiny defined by death !

In this game of life n death, life is by death….so live by death !

And try Death by Chocolate…to sweeten it : )

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WALK OF LIFE !

Parijat

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My walk outside takes me Inside !             

My walk defines me, my life. It gives me my identity in relationship to others and to the world. It is my mirror…concave and convex….mirroring my soul and the world within. 

My walk has become my search, my quest…..to find meaning, to understand relationships, to know myself.

It makes me reflect, induces my thoughts, gives me ideas. It allows me to peer into myself, look at others closely, and dwell upon my relationships with people, places, events, the world and the nature. It provides me perspective for my life and times. Each walk becomes a journey of life and takes me down the memory lanes. It rejuvenates me… It heals the soul, cleans the mind, repairs the body.

I began walking with physical fitness in mind but along the way walking became incidental and thoughts began to creep in and it became a ritual of contemplation, of reflection, of thoughts…good, bad n ugly.

I have been walking for as long as I can remember. And as I walk, words form incessantly  in my mind and turn into thoughts. And the thoughts overflow….as if my thoughts have suddenly got legs and they run ahead of me uncontrollably, and I am always in the catching-up game.

When I walk, I am one with myself and also one with my family, friends, the world. My walking thoughts take me to places near and far….i think of things, people, places, of relationships, of happenings…. in the recent past or from the deep recess of the past, of times forgotten. Memories come flooding….. Nostalgic memories of love and separations, of laughter & tears, of joy & tragedies, of solitude and togetherness, of times happy and sad.

Walk takes me to my past. Walk travels with me to my future. Walk walks with me in my present. Questions come in floods…what I was, what I am and where am I going….

While mind is on its own journeys, the fresh cool wind caresses and invigorates my body, touches me tantalizingly. When the soothing first rays of the dawn touch me, John Denver sing for me “Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy…”, and I sing along. Chirping birds, dancing butterflies, many splendoured sky with myriad hues….  the sights, the sounds, the smells…so enchanting, mesmerizing. Oh….how nature touches, teases, teaches !

And the music while walking sounds so heavenly.… paradise lost  is regained by listening to a Beethoven, a Mozart, a Chopin…

My walks also take me closer to the finest minds and the beauty of their written words, their ideas. The greats such as Russel, Huxley, Shakespeare, Hemingway and many more.

In childhood we used to recite: “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” Well, my walk has compelled me to open my eyes early and helped me in controlling my weight, but neither am I wealthy nor wise. The early bird is yet to catch any worm. In fact, I have seen and known many wealthy persons who are perpetually late and lazy. Considering my credentials as a ‘Walker’, I wonder whether I will qualify as brand ambassador of “Johny Walker” and get unending n uninterrupted supply of this famous Scotch Whisky.

When I walk, the mind makes resolutions, action plans…some I act upon, mostly are forgotten. I wonder whether I ‘walk the talk’ or it’s all phantom fantasy of the “ghost who walks”. In my “walk of life”, there is ‘action’, and there is ‘motion’, but not of “Dire Straits” kind : )

Thinking of the people petty and hypocrite, my mind asks them to ‘take a walk’….but never with me. Love the wit of Noel Coward : “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people I dislike”.

I observe other walkers and joggers and try to fathom what must be going on in their minds. I look at the dogs on the leash and imagine what if human beings were on the leash held by the Dog….. the scenarios from George Orwell’s “Animal Farm”.

I dwell upon the news…..the news about racism, the killings, the rapes, the political buffoonery and chicanery, the climate change:  and how the world is divided over every thing…matters which matter and matters which do not matter: makes me sad and I think about the future of the country, the world and its people. And I think about the fake news… its repercussions….how it poisons our minds and by repeating over and over again how false becomes the truth and truth becomes a lie. Reminds me of a quote I read somewhere: We were all humans until: Race disconnected us, Religion separated us, Politics divided us, Wealth classified us…”

And while I walk, at times I observe the poor, the old and the young… …cold and shivering, hungry and thirsty…..homeless, hopeless the helpless…and I think of the ever-increasing divide between the rich and the poor and why the successive governments have not been able to do something for them. I think of the good samaritans who selflessly extend a helping hand…by a kind smile, by giving food to the hungry, medicine to the sick, blanket to the cold.

And I think of revolutionary ideas, to bring about change in the world…and feel so useless, unworthy and ordinary. 

And I ponder about myself, my world, my being, my body, my mind, habits, wants, desires, role, my failures…but not about success because i have none. I reflect upon the time lost, opportunities not taken…what could have been, what I could have been…

And I reflect on the relationships, …parents, children, wife, siblings, friends…..and the fragility and strength of these. And I think of human nature, its kindness and meanness, the trust and the treachery, and how time heals…slowly but surely.

And I think of life and times, of separation and of death. I think of the people so very dear who drifted away, the people who were close and passed away….my relationship with them, how they influenced me, what I meant to them.

Walking Mind plays strange tricks on my psyche and forces me to think of my death, of my near and dear ones…what will life be without them. I feel utterly sad and miserable. And I wonder whether they think of their own death, and how they face each other, or will face me or each other while facing death. Had written about “Morbid Thoughts” on this Blog earlier. 

And I think of my disagreements, arguments and fights with my dear ones…and end up having a guilty feeling most of the time as to whether I did not do enough for them. At times I feel…I did my best and they are responsible for their lives…..conflicting thoughts indeed !

And in these walks, I imagine what if one very close to someone and always walking hand-in-hand- metaphorically and literally, turned treacherous? What if the good turned into bad, and beautiful into ugly? What if the fragile “Parijat” they admired together and smelt together and gave a handful to each other wilted, because the treachery of the one wilted their love? I recall Longfellow’s: The leaves of memory seemed to make a mournful rustling in the dark…. .  So true indeed !

Parijat

I think of human evolution and importance of walking in it, how we walk, how we differ from apes, in walking and otherwise. This thinking, contemplating walk encompasses all the dimensions of human evolution and existence: physical, biological, anthropological, historical, mental, psychological, philosophical, social, cultural, individual…. The microcosm of the whole world is with me when I walk.

Every day I walk, and every day it is the same…same sun, same trees, same paths, same people, same sights, smells and sounds. Yet every day it is different, every day it is changing…everyday everything is changing. And times are a’changing.  Same is so different and different is so same.

Walk connects me, walk disconnects me. Walk takes me to the people I love and walk takes me away from some of them as I recall their treachery……but does it take me away really…? I feel my walks compel me, push me against my will into the vicinity of their  thoughts..dark, gloomy, vicious.  

And after a walk, I sit on the park bench and close my eyes and control my breath…a sort of very basic meditation where I try to drive all my thoughts away…though I succeed very little…this is the time when I feel at peace with myself and with the world. After this ritual, I tell myself that I am doing my best and there are things which are beyond my control, and very often remember this quote of Reinhold Niebuhr:

“Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

Whereas walking excites the mind, meditation calms. Walking generates plethora and procession of thoughts, the purpose of meditation seems to be to rein in the thought process. In walking the breath runs faster, in meditation breathing becomes very slow. The effect of the two is opposite, but for me both are interlinked and important. One leads to the other. In a way both the rituals compete as well as complement each other, but complete me and my identity.

I fight myself when I walk and I love myself when I walk. I am despondent and desolate, I am ecstatic and exuberant.

The solitude I experience during my walks, then, shapes my attitude towards life and times, about people and places….and myself, my being. And the mind always walks an extra mile.

Walk breathes life into me, it takes me closer to death!

My walk is Walk of Life…everyday, yet I cannot fathom life…What is here and now?…What is beyond and tomorrow ? The search is never complete, the journey never ends, as penned so beautifully by Rainer Maria Rilke:

“My eyes already touch the sunny hill,

Going far beyond the road I have begun,

So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp….”

Parijat

 

Of Ageing n Ceding !

Tortured souls they were…my friend (who is many years older than me) n his wife whom I met recently after ages. They have one son, married…both husband n wife highly educated and in good jobs. Life should have been hunky dory for my friend couple, but they were miserable. As they opened their hearts, I was appalled by the attitude of their daughter in law and apathy of their son who remains mute spectator to the spectacles of disrespect n insults thrown at his parents.

Why is it that many educated and well versed in manners and etiquettes throw their civility to winds where parents are concerned ? Why even a harmless n well-meaning question concerning  their or their children’s well being or whereabouts is thought of as an intrusion and interference in their lives ? Why the parents are shouted at in reply ? Why are they misunderstood…intentionally and by design ? Why are they made to feel low, bad, a burden….unwanted and unwelcome…by words spoken n unspoken, by sarcasm nuanced or pronounced, by gestures…in your face or subtle ?

Why is it that in the sunset years, the parents have to suffer the humiliation n disgrace, ignominy n indignity ? They create and provide everything for their progeny…..willingly n happily cede time, space, ground, authority, money, assets..…everything, except the responsibility…..which they continue to shoulder on n on n on. Yet, they suffer, and are hurt. Whereas the so called uneducated n fossilized have no ego and are the ones to apolozise first and always..…mistake or no mistake, many of the so called modern don’t even have the courtesy of being polite, forget the apology….their  methods n manners crude n atrocious.

Wrote this in anguish, hurt by the injustice and unfairness, the shoddy n the shabby treatment meted out to my friend. Story could be the same in some other homes…more or less ! But I am not sitting in judgment, nor am I trying to point out to anyone in particular, or paint all with the same brush stroke. Am sure this is one of the isolated cases. There are good and bad exceptions every where and in every age group. And there are shining examples of love n care, grace n graciousness !

Can there be some soul search ? Can there be little generosity to allow them some dignity to sit atop their disability ? That will be reason enough for their happiness n contentment. They neither need nor want anything more !

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Two who left us…but will never leave !

I remembered them in the shower today ! The Two who left us but will never leave !

I remembered them in shower today, I don’t know why ! ‘’Anand’’ and ‘’Kishore’’…..the living metaphors who lived lives the way they were named. Both forever spreading happiness n joy, both forever young n bringing cheer. Their genuine warmth hugged us n goodness envelops us. One intoxicated by his laughter, while the smile of the other was so very  infectious. One could ask me the meaning of ‘slut’ without blinking, while the other wanted to understand the nuanced influence of wine vs. ‘bhang’ on senses. While one teased me endlessly about the things I was trying to hide behind my “kala chasma”, the other gifted me one. While one will discuss spooky feelings attempting cross- words, the other insisted on having me by his side to watch “Bhoot Bangla” on a dark ‘darawani’ night aeons ago.  They really scared the shit out of you at times, LOL ! Such was their camaraderie with young n old that none was foreign and nothing was taboo. Both so open that transparency became naked.

Both larger than life.…. They are no more but they defy death ! Yes they left…..but will never leave !

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Evolving or Devolving ?

A cousin posted something beautiful on kindness yesterday ! This triggered a thought……when we think of kindness, do we not sub-consciously assume kindness only for those who are not close to us ? How kind are we to our near n dear ones…to those who matter most in our lives….our immediate family members…….mother, father, husband, wife (am excluding sons n daughters for we are partial to them and, therefore, our kindness to them is agiven) ! At times are we not violent to them in words and harsh in thoughts ? And at times, do we not treat them shabbily…… by words spoken n unspoken, by behaviour n gestures, by certain things we do or do not do ? Why do we lose our senses n sensitivity, why do we take them for granted…… ?

The more we evolve, the more we devolve……?

 

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For me, the treacherous are now IRRELEVANT !

Now I have left my pain, anger and bitterness behind to set myself free from the prison I was in. Two, too close to me n taking advantage of my unquestioning trust in them, consciously conspired to commit monumental treachery and fraud upon me. This began about two to three years ago I think….right under my nose n I didn’t even smell it…how could I…..so complete was my faith in them. About a year and few months back, their deceit was revealed. I was crestfallen, torn into pieces. It was so difficult to heal the wound and I went berserk. Now I look back and realize, they did good to me by their treachery n deceit….for that showed me their true colours and allowed me to free myself from the bondage, from the fake.

As the new year dawns, I look back with satisfaction n happiness and bask in the glow n glory of new, beautiful relationships. “If life can remove people you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having”.

Now i can ignore the treacherous as they are relevant no more !

(Note: As told to me by someone, put in my words though.)

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