The Other Side of Midnight ! (with thanks & apology to Sidney Sheldon)
Ok, they can’t “cool it”, nor are they “hot”, but can’t they warm up to the idea? It’s high time the seniors also looked at the changing times and relationships through the prism of the younger lot. They talk about the generation gap, but where is the effort to fill it?
Whereas minimal discipline and civilized norms of behaviour can’t be dispensed with, why keep clinging to the past, the unnecessary and the unwanted? Resolve the crisis of confidence. When in doubt, give benefit of doubt.
The body ages, but one can be young and contemporary in mind. No doubt, “the in” vocabulary and behaviour do not decide the primitiveness or modernity, it wouldn’t harm to follow these simple survival rules: Suggest, not instruct; Listen, not ask! But by no means give in, rather give! Give space, even if void : )
Constant complaints, criticism and cross-examination only widen the chasm. “Who, what, where, why, when” alienate. Leave interrogation to IT, IB and CBI. Excessive curiosity will surely harm if not kill the cat.
Besides ignorance, ignoring too is a bliss!
BE FRIENDLY, BUT NOT A FRIEND !
LET THE LINES NOT BLUR !
A provocative thought !
Very often, out of misplaced love, or to mollycoddle, or to follow the herd, or to be seen as ‘modern’, we parents convert or pretend to be friends of our children. A grave mistake I think!
In our relationship with the children, we are meant to be what we really are and not don the hat of what we are not. Else we are likely to lose the benign but essential authority, the initiative and even the dignity. If we become so-called friends, children may become impolite, insubordinate and insolent. And we lose the respect followed by self-respect. This happens because we are not those friends of our children to whom they present their very best, but the ones who are and can be easily taken for granted. Perils of parenthood indeed!
I am not suggesting that we should wield the stick and not be loving towards children. But that love does not permit limitless license. We ought to say it loud and clear when enough is enough. If we install the children on our head, they are likely to pee on it. And the offensive touch, feel and odour of the excreta flowing down our face, even that of our own children, is difficult to endure : )
The history based on the amalgam of genetic and cultural progression of millions of years of human evolution has firmly established this hierarchy. If it is broken, there is chaos. When the lines blur, it’s confusion.
So, let’s not pretend. Let’s not cheat ourselves by acting otherwise. Let’s not be the ostrich with nose n eyes in the sand.
Let the sacrosanct be sacrosanct!
With our children let’s be friendly…very friendly, but not friends!