Tortured souls they were…my friend (who is many years older than me) n his wife whom I met recently after ages. They have one son, married…both husband n wife highly educated and in good jobs. Life should have been hunky dory for my friend couple, but they were miserable. As they opened their hearts, I was appalled by the attitude of their daughter in law and apathy of their son who remains mute spectator to the spectacles of disrespect n insults thrown at his parents.
Why is it that many educated and well versed in manners and etiquettes throw their civility to winds where parents are concerned ? Why even a harmless n well-meaning question concerning their or their children’s well being or whereabouts is thought of as an intrusion and interference in their lives ? Why the parents are shouted at in reply ? Why are they misunderstood…intentionally and by design ? Why are they made to feel low, bad, a burden….unwanted and unwelcome…by words spoken n unspoken, by sarcasm nuanced or pronounced, by gestures…in your face or subtle ?
Why is it that in the sunset years, the parents have to suffer the humiliation n disgrace, ignominy n indignity ? They create and provide everything for their progeny…..willingly n happily cede time, space, ground, authority, money, assets..…everything, except the responsibility…..which they continue to shoulder on n on n on. Yet, they suffer, and are hurt. Whereas the so called uneducated n fossilized have no ego and are the ones to apolozise first and always..…mistake or no mistake, many of the so called modern don’t even have the courtesy of being polite, forget the apology….their methods n manners crude n atrocious.
Wrote this in anguish, hurt by the injustice and unfairness, the shoddy n the shabby treatment meted out to my friend. Story could be the same in some other homes…more or less ! But I am not sitting in judgment, nor am I trying to point out to anyone in particular, or paint all with the same brush stroke. Am sure this is one of the isolated cases. There are good and bad exceptions every where and in every age group. And there are shining examples of love n care, grace n graciousness !
Can there be some soul search ? Can there be little generosity to allow them some dignity to sit atop their disability ? That will be reason enough for their happiness n contentment. They neither need nor want anything more !
I remembered them in the shower today ! The Two who left us but will never leave !
I remembered them in shower today, I don’t know why ! ‘’Anand’’ and ‘’Kishore’’…..the living metaphors who lived lives the way they were named. Both forever spreading happiness n joy, both forever young n bringing cheer. Their genuine warmth hugged us n goodness envelops us. One intoxicated by his laughter, while the smile of the other was so very infectious. One could ask me the meaning of ‘slut’ without blinking, while the other wanted to understand the nuanced influence of wine vs. ‘bhang’ on senses. While one teased me endlessly about the things I was trying to hide behind my “kala chasma”, the other gifted me one. While one will discuss spooky feelings attempting cross- words, the other insisted on having me by his side to watch “Bhoot Bangla” on a dark ‘darawani’ night aeons ago. They really scared the shit out of you at times, LOL ! Such was their camaraderie with young n old that none was foreign and nothing was taboo. Both so open that transparency became naked.
Both larger than life.…. They are no more but they defy death ! Yes they left…..but will never leave !
A cousin posted something beautiful on kindness yesterday ! This triggered a thought……when we think of kindness, do we not sub-consciously assume kindness only for those who are not close to us ? How kind are we to our near n dear ones…to those who matter most in our lives….our immediate family members…….mother, father, husband, wife (am excluding sons n daughters for we are partial to them and, therefore, our kindness to them is agiven) ! At times are we not violent to them in words and harsh in thoughts ? And at times, do we not treat them shabbily…… by words spoken n unspoken, by behaviour n gestures, by certain things we do or do not do ? Why do we lose our senses n sensitivity, why do we take them for granted…… ?
The more we evolve, the more we devolve……?
Now I have left my pain, anger and bitterness behind to set myself free from the prison I was in. Two, too close to me n taking advantage of my unquestioning trust in them, consciously conspired to commit monumental treachery and fraud upon me. This began about two to three years ago I think….right under my nose n I didn’t even smell it…how could I…..so complete was my faith in them. About a year and few months back, their deceit was revealed. I was crestfallen, torn into pieces. It was so difficult to heal the wound and I went berserk. Now I look back and realize, they did good to me by their treachery n deceit….for that showed me their true colours and allowed me to free myself from the bondage, from the fake.
As the new year dawns, I look back with satisfaction n happiness and bask in the glow n glory of new, beautiful relationships. “If life can remove people you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having”.
Now i can ignore the treacherous as they are relevant no more !
(Note: As told to me by someone, put in my words though.)
Oh…such was the intensity when we first met, her sandals broke…
But I put the broken sandals on her feet,
and we carried on, she limping along !
Was it harbinger of the day she repaid……
by placing my heart on my hands after breaking it ?
She took great care in destroying me,
after all she ”loved” me so !
Many a mornings i plucked fragile n fragrant PARIJAT for her with great care,
One morning she trampled upon them with scorn n glee…
the fragments n fading fragrance remain in my painful memory !
Many a afternoons i brewed TEA for her with great care n served delicately in China,
One afternoon she put poison of her deceit in my cup….
This poison circulates forever in my veins !
Many a days we wrote n read the NOTEBOOK of love together,
One day she tore it up and threw the torn pages away….
The words mock me mournfully !
Over the years we built the BRIDGES and crossed them hand-in-hand time n again,
She burnt the Bridges n threw the ashes to the winds…..
I ran after it and collected a handful, crestfallen n ashen-faced !
Now i love Parijat, Tea, Notebook and Bridges more….
Coz they remind me of her treachery !
I believed we were beyond right or wrong,
But she wronged me saying it was right !
“CSS”…..Have we seen a Clan so Smart n Suave ? Oh….what Style, what Substance…be it men or women, girls or boys ! CSS…lo behold…..here we belong ! CSS….the name unfolds history, centuries old genesis, legacy of the illustrious ancestors ! CSS…the name brings nostalgia and many a maudlin moments ! CSS…where the relationships are unfathomable ….as very deep they go, and defy distance, age n time ! CSS where it is not incongruous to find uncles often offering exotic wine n cousins Assam tea : )
CSS…where life is celebrated every moment, at every turn…not to speak of colourful events n vibrant wonderful weddings ! Ohh CSS…when we all meet the joy intoxicates, happiness overflows and the back-slapping camaraderie enthrals.! CSS…where we have immortal iconic Gola, where gatherings are gay, and festivities galore! CSS… where the light- hearted banter, the jokes, the leg- pullings, the odd sermons, the pics of events in our lives…. shared in person and on the App keep us anchored ! CSS…where concern by all for all in the clan is genuine, love unpretentious and warmth abundant ! CSS….where the ancient family tree has grown humongous and branches spread out far n wide…but roots keep us rooted, united ! CSS….how blessed are we, for the family here is friend !
CSS…where gaiety rules, fun never ends, and laughter never dies ! CSS…where there is drama in real life and life is lived king size ! CSS…where, songs are songs of life and dance is spirit of freedom ! CSS…where there is pride, but no prejudice…..where proximity breeds care, not contempt ! CSS…where bonding breeds bonhomie n belonging brings bliss !
CSS phenomenon….eyes light up at its mere mention.…It’s Rare, It’s Infectious, It’s Crazy, It’s Beautiful, It’s Magnificent !