Living in Denial: Udhar Ki Zindagi !
These days we see many living in denial……. in denial of their own strengths, weaknesses, situation in life..….both in thoughts and behaviour. They deny what is factual, and flaunt a life full of fabrication, falsehood and fakery…..to deceive first themselves, then others. It begins with the make-believe and showing off, becomes a pretentious habit, and soon acquires dimensions where it is a permanent trade-off of ‘what is’ with ‘what is not’. Seeking constant validation outside, they lose sight of the worthy and the important, and devote endless hours and energy to the frivolous activities for others to gain their appreciation. We also see this in social settings where in order to compete with the rich and famous, they boast, name- drop, and indulge in endless self- aggrandizement (paraded with put-on accent), reducing themselves to the ridiculous and pathetic. Bordering bizarre, they believe in this self-perpetuating lie….in their pseudo existence/udhar ki zindagi.
The dead depart and the accused are arrested, but the world around rest of the crestfallen family falls apart. We relish gossiping about and deriving voyeuristic pleasure from tragedies befalling others. Gruesome details, innards and all, are shared and forwarded endlessly and instinctively with glee and become fodder for free entertainment. It is forgotten there are none without dark hidden side.
As evolved beings, can we curb this primitive urge, and show sensitivity by shunning the senseless and being sensible? Can we search deep within and allow a semblance of dignity to those who have to suffer ignominy for no fault of theirs? Can we just let them be?
Why are we so obsessed with the thoughts of the people we don’t care for or don’t like ?
Are we so insecure that we have to pull them down constantly, repeatedly to show ourselves or our favoured favourites in shining light ?
Agar hum unhen nahee chahte, to unka jikr kyun karte hain ?
We tend to mention them more often than the people whom we like, we love.
Everyone sooner or later reaches his/her level of incompetence. Each to his own ! So why ca’nt we leave them alone ?
We relentlessly deride n ridicule some people… may be due to our personal prejudices, political affiliations, or socio- cultural inclinations…whatever. We become judgmental, pass sarcastic remarks, forward uncomplimentary n derogatory (often false n ridiculous) forwards, and generally pull the person down with childish (perhaps malicious) glee..at times with the intent to malign, and at times unthinkingly….without any thought, without any application of mind..becoming victims of herd mentality.
But to what purpose ?
We only manage to be counter-productive….by our obsessive behaviour we succeed in embedding n implanting this person’s memory in the minds of one n sundry. We don’t allow the person to fade away…gracefully or even ungracefully….. we bring his presence in sharp focus time n again !
While fuelling the person’s unpopularity, we forget unpopularity is also a form of popularity. End of the day, willy-nilly we end up serving his purpose. As Oscar Wilde famously said: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about” !