From Attachment to Attachments To Attachment to Detachments.

My good friend n cousin Lalita often cautions me about the perils of attachment.

Confession: Narcissist to the core, I am attached to myself, my body and its appendages. Am attached to amazing tendencies and hypocrisies (I practice what I hate in others and don’t what I preach). Am attached to my achievements (read failures) and failures (showcased as achievements). Am attached to fantastic fetishes and hilariously hideous habits (e.g. acting feline or admiring that imaginary dimple on my cheek).

Am attached to creatures which include some friends, few loved ones, fewer relatives, no Exs, and all animals & enemies. Am attached to the real which is unreal, and to the fake which is surreal. Am thus attached to myriad possibilities, prejudices and pretensions….the good, the bad, the ugly, and of course the beautiful Me.

To cut the crap, I am attached to the bad in me (which others like) and to the good in others (which I dislike).

And when I tried to shake off attachments, I became attached to detachment.  Try detaching and soon the detachment attaches you to its own attachments….passions of mind or obsessions of the heart.

I now wonder: I am attached to the attachments or the attachments are attached to me ? Am perplexed: I am attachedly detached or detachedly attached ? Ohhh Niru, whither Nirvana ?

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Sophistication of intelligent minds reflects in the sensitiveness of their souls.

A TALE OF TWO….IN THE CONTEXT OF MY PARENTS

Parents are at Bangalore since mid-November 2019. I tend to their medical needs when they are here…doctors, hospitals, the regimen…and of late I have realized I often lose patience and become irritated when father reminds repeatedly about something. I might hide behind the justification that in the hurly-burly household scenario where 10 humans try their best to remain sane and humane…competing for peace, coping with the pace, jostling for space…nerves do get frayed at times. But what is a family, if not confusion and chaos?

I am ashamed of myself as I compare in my mind and recall how Antima tends to their needs- medical and more at Guwahati…without losing patience, without ever getting annoyed…replies umpteen times… calmly, affectionately…as if talking to toddlers aged two….with love and kindness and a happy smiling face…coaxing them to eat, cajoling to take medicine, persuading to venture out, encouraging to have some fun….. giving them her time, empathy and the warmth of sunshine in the winter of their lives (neither bragging nor blaming, and despite a full-time job and domestic affairs in her hair).

Sophistication of intelligent minds, such as Antima’s, reflects in the sensitiveness of their souls.

Stories such as these must be told…not to belittle contributions of anyone, but for lessons to be learnt…i am learning mine!

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An Ephemeral Creature of Transient Times….I Live in the World of Words i Write!

An ephemeral creature of transient times…

I live in the world of words i write;

Firefly of the future, my soul found wings…

In life lost and stars-kissed light.

            Words echoing from my deepest depths…

            I owe to the one who took my breath away;

            Living now, now dead…

           Neither regret nor rejoice, nothing to say.

Nothing like forever old n forever new…

For not in moments, in memories i live;

Born to die and born yet again…

Nothing to forget yet nothing to believe.

           Past a beautiful lie, Present existential angst…

           Future but an agonized quest;

           Scorched soul sitting on pierced wings…

           Flies me to distant shores, be it dark be twilight.

Nano particle in the void of time n space…

Infinity ensconced in a fleeting second;

Effervescent, enchanting, exhilarating…

Yet, in palm, are life n times ever held.

            An ephemeral creature of transient times…

           I live in the world of words i write;

           Firefly of the future, my soul found wings…

          In life lost and stars-kissed light.

Fat Weddings, Slim Bodies and More.….

Let’s laugh at the antics (including our own) displayed in the weddings we attend:

Highlights in Lowlights: This misfortune befalls the well-heeled sooner or later….all dressed up, everywhere to go, and a heel breaks……all hell breaks loose. Many a slips show, and intentionally oblivious of the obvious, we pretend ignorance as the show must go on. Who wants to be branded as a spoilsport? And just when we are beginning to be intoxicated with the exotic smells emanating from the beauties, a silent killer scent from an unknown orifice makes us flee the scene in great haste. You present your best face to become the Facebook darling, but you are caught on camera at your worst with mouth agape full of saliva-mixed morsels, ketchup dripping down your chin, and eyes wide open with utter glee.…depicting you as Dracula in a horror movie.

Man vs Woman: Whereas men like me display narcissistic tendencies refusing to change their stripes, women exhibit abundant selfless love for self and selfies with pouting lips.

A Women Exclusive: Fatter the weddings…..slimmer the bodies, with slim turning into slimmer and slimmer vanishing into thin air.

Spirited Spiritual Men: And what with the clean-shaven, the moustached, the goateed and the bearded sneaking out to the openly secret watering hole… suddenly there is vacuum, as if balloon is emtied of half its gas….and we find famine of the masculine, only the feminine populating the pandals in powder pink and pale purple.

Love n Longing: Amidst tumultuous cacophony, some try to steal still moments. Setting out in canoes or sitting under canopies, they weave themes of their dreams. Hoping and hopping from event to event and changing attires but not the attitudes, they wink and hoodwink to keep the rendezvous.

Touching: Bride side or groom side…is besides the point; the unwanted are kept at arm’s length. And for the privileged ones, hugs are from far and back slapping is inflicted in measured manner, lest the wrinkles creep into clothes and conversations. Husky cries, coooes and croonings of …how are you….oh my…you look so good….where were you hiding all these years….. begin with vigorous air-kissing and culminate into even more vigorous air kissing and never-to-be-kept promises of “let’s keep in touch”. Touching indeed.

The last laugh: And the one, who like me did not have the misfortune of going to an English-medium school, has the last laugh pronouncing “am in the middle of bedding”, when a friend inquires about his whereabouts. Hilarious… definitely. Scandalous…may be. But scarce are scarlet cheeks… like onions these days.  : )

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Work Hard n Party Harder ?

We come across workaholics who sacrifice their health, mental peace, relationships and pleasures that life offers for the sake of excessive work, endless earnings, or both, even if they have gold in their teeth and diamonds in their toes.

At opposite end of the spectrum, we encounter the breed who treat work as part-time hobby at its best, and as a dirty word at its worst. Their priorities are shopping online, shopping offline, partying and more partying. They waste the best years of their lives (when the adrenaline is pumping in full force, and limbs, mind and faculties are at their prime) seeking the fake and indulging in the frivolous. They consider themselves as a gift to the mankind and take people and privileges for granted. When cautioned or counselled, their inflated ego can’t tolerate and they throw threats and tantrums. The close ones give up. The savings, largely ancestral, are blown away. The long rope of time and space thrown for bringing them to senses is used to hang themselves. Atrophy soon sets in, the rot is irreversible, the decay is complete, total and final.

And mind you, both the specimen are mindful of the consequences of what they are doing. It’s mind-boggling, flabbergasting. The fire in the belly is in the wrong belly.  

One deserves when one earns, or at least sincerely tries. Also, all work n no play makes us dull n boring.

So the Mantra ? …..Work Hard and Party Harder !

 

Live n Let Die !

We all sooner or later reach a station in life where we get bogged down with pressures of managing our past or present relationships, business/job, health, feelings of redundancy or irrelevance. I say, insert a twist in the tale…spit out the unsavoury, ignore the unwanted, begin dancing to your own tunes, wink at yourself remembering peccadilloes in Piccadilly/Pan Bazar or Police Bazar, raise a toast to yourself, and sing at the top of your voice Dr. Alban’s “It’s my life”. Let your hair down, love yourself unapologetically, and be a harmless hedonist. Cheers to the free spirit…flowing or otherwise. Live n let die*.

(*the sad feelings)

 

Right or Wrong!

The well-meaning agencies caution us against paying child-beggars, but we wish to help them out of pity or to assuage our own guilt feelings; the mind forcefully argues against riding on the dignity and drudgery of the old rickshaw puller, but his plight tugs at the heart to allow him to earn his bread….

In situations such as these, where the heart pulls in one direction and the mind pushes in the opposite, can we, as humans, ever sit in judgment over what is right and what is wrong?

Right or wrong, in the conflict between the conscious and the conscience, I am inclined towards the latter.

The Hot Cool Conundrum

Cool is Hot n Hot is Cool! 

Ohhh…everyone is so cool these days…..so cool, they are hot…..and so hot,  they are cool. Hot Dogs n Cool Cats or Hot Cats n Cool Dogs : ) Descartes’s soul must be desperate to rephrase “I think, therefore I am”(Cogito Ergo Sum) to “Am Cool, therefore am Hot!”. So in which state of the matter one really is? Iceberg or Lava? An existential enigma facing the humanity. And we no longer have a Camus or a Sartre : )

Fareb !

Meri kitab ke har ek panne, har ek lafj pe sirf usika jikr hai,

jao ek baar uski ankhon me jhaank aao…..

dikhayi degi meri mohabbat,

aur uska fareb !

 

Every page, every word of my book is full of her,

Go, look into her eyes once….

You will see my love,

And her treachery !

 

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SEDUCTION BY LIFE !

O LIFE HOW YOU SEDUCE ME…

I LUST FOR YOU OR YOU LUST FOR ME ?

O voluptuous, sensuous life,

You suck me in your beautiful body, you devour me in your exuberant soul !

Your sights n smells, sounds n scents so exciting….

Your contours n curves, crannies n crevices so enticing…..

You engulf me like flames of forest fire !

You embrace me n kiss me with primal passion…

You dance in me and i dance inside you … with joy unbound n exhilaration….

A particle in whirlwind gyrating with gay abandon…..

O Life You inflame decadent desire !

O Life you tempt with hedonistic pleasure !

I swim in your waters, I dive in the depths of your valleys…

 I climb your hills, I fathom your forests of lilys…

Life… you enthrall, you invigorate !

Life…you invite, you intoxicate !

Life….you energize, you stimulate !

You attract, you addict, you attack, you arrest !

You call, You seek, you beckon, you challenge !

O alluring fascinating Life, You charm me out of my wits,

I am eternally thirsty to drink the love-poison from your lips !

O Life you lure, you hunt, you thrill…. n you kill….

And like a woman wily n wanton, you spoil !

Life dear, You enter my soul n my soul enters you to meet, merge n mate,

And how I cherish n our tempestuous relationship I celebrate !

OH LIFE HOW YOU SEDUCE ME….

I LUST FOR YOU AND YOU LUST FOR ME…

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